Tangled lie

I refuse to let a difference of opinion separate me from the love of my brother. An opinion is separate from loving someone. I reject the notion of disunity. 

There are more of us standing together in love than not.

The adversary of our soul has convinced many of us that to disagree with each other means we do not love each other. THAT IS A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL! I love my brothers and sisters no matter their opinion! Expose the lie, repent for believing it and CHOOSE to stand in love for each other.

Is my Arthritis Spiritual?

Some Arthritis stems from self-hatred and self-rejection. Gout is a form of arthritis. If you suffer from either form, ask yourself, ‘Do I blame myself for anything? What don’t I like about myself? What is eating at me?’ These are good self-examination questions. 
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the preceding questions, there is an answer! James 4:3 says ‘We have not because we ask not…’ And in 3 John 2, he prayed “Beloved, I pray that you prosper in all things and be in good health, just as your soul (mind, will and emotions) prosper.’
Jesus has the answer! Ask him what is the root behind the pain. As He reveals the root, repent and forgive yourself for any part you played in the situation and forgive any others who were involved. By doing this, you take the power out of the pain as well as from the enemy. 

Jesus came to set the captive free!

Lost Identity

Lost Identity


I woke and started praying this morning around 5:00 a.m. As I prayed, I heard in my spirit, “In the fall, we lost our identity of who we are.” There was a pause and I heard the words, “It takes a renewed mind to get it back.” Then there was a longer pause and the final words, “Determination is the key.” Powerful words! I am curious, what are your thoughts on this?

Do I need a Deliverance, or is it Menopause?

Do I need a Deliverance, or is it Menopause?


I want to encourage my sisters out there! You do not need a deliverance! You need wisdom and knowledge! “Ugh!” I groaned out loud as I laid across my bed trying to zip up my pants. I barely managed to achieve this dreaded task. I wallowed around trying to get up with my jeans welded to my skin, I finally realized that by rolling over on my side I could actually get off the bed, ‘fanny first,’ without losing too much of my dignity. I stood to my feet and began my routine mental conversation and body check, “Can I breathe? Yes, but only from the chest. Are the seams to my pants going to hold?” I look in the full-length mirror and turn from side to side to examine the seams, “So far so good, nothing has popped or looks like it might.” Now for the dreaded check, “How much of a roll do I have folding over the waistband of pants? “Oooh…I do not want to look”, I sigh to myself. I close my eyes as my hands feel around my waistline. “Yep, it is getting bigger.” Mental defeat sets in and my day has an ever so slight gray tint.

I have always been the athletic type of woman. I was a professional horse trainer for many years; therefore, my body did not require any ‘extra’ exercise, cleaning twenty-four horse stalls and riding anywhere from ten to fifteen horses a day seemed to do the trick to keeping me in shape. But since I have transitioned from training horses to becoming a minister where most of the work is sitting or eating, there seems to be a shift in my body proportions, much to my chagrin.

Most women my age, fifty-something, struggle with unwanted weight gain. So what do I do to stave off the, ‘monster within’. So what is this, ‘monster within’? Let me put it to you this way, it’s name is menopause, it is fat, bald and green; it has bulbous eyes and sharp teeth, a huge tongue that slurps at it’s lips any time it sees chocolate! The monster’s characteristics are representative of what a woman goes through when she is in the menopause stage of life. As the body’s hormones change, the metabolism slows thus resulting in weight gain – fat monster. He is bald, because according to Alan J. Bauman, ABHRS-certified Hair Transplant Surgeon, “…about 40 percent of women experience hair thinning” (2013), during this period in their lives. The monster is green, because this speaks of the monstrous mood swings one must deal with on the inside. This is particularly unnerving as a Christian woman, as we are to exhibit the fruit of the spirit; which is, “love, joy, peace, long-suffering…” This monster will take those particular verses in the Bible and, ‘chew them up and spit them out’. One must really have a handle on walking in a mature Christian walk and self-discipline. The sharp teeth represent the sharp words that may spew out before one has time to slap a hand over one’s mouth! The bulbous eyes are due to the monstrous hot flashes that sneak up on you at the most inopportune moments; such as, speaking in front of a room full of people. I try to resist taking off my jacket, but to no avail. As I concentrate on staying on topic, I am unconsciously rolling up my sleeves. By the time my personal summer has run it’s course, I know I must look like some crazed woman out of a comic strip. So, one can understand why many desperate women do not walk, they run to their local physician in search of an answer to cage this green, ravenous beast.

Generally speaking, the problem in running to the local physician in pursuit of relief is it seems that the majority of doctors will pull out their prescription tablet and jot down the name of a synthetic hormone. At which time, the woman in her desperation, snatches the sacred piece of paper out of the doctor’s hand and screams her way to her pharmacist, who takes his sweet time filling the prescription, while the frantic female chews on her fingernails to keep from grabbing the pharmacist by the throat and screaming, “HURRY UP! DON’T YOU KNOW I AM DESPERATE!”

The point being, synthetic hormone therapy may seem to be a quick fix to placing the green monster and his symptoms in a cage; but in the long haul, it has more baggage attached to it than one may want to carry. According to the National Institute of Health, “Hormone therapy may help relieve bothersome symptoms of menopause… However, it may also increase a woman’s risk for: Blood clots, breast cancer, heart disease and even a stroke” (2011). There is more! There are the side effects, such as breast soreness, bloating and water retention, really? I am already bloated with a muffin-top! Along with becoming the Pillsbury Doughboy, are headaches, mood-swings and nausea. Apparently, the medicine actually feeds the monster, except now the monster is even a deeper shade of puke green!

There are different forms in which to afflict oneself with hormones and no orifice is off limits. Remember, I mentioned dignity at the beginning of this essay? I have now come to the conclusion, that as one ages, dignity is something of a luxury. There are two key hormones, estrogen and progesterone, that diminish with age in a woman’s body. Estrogen can be taken in the following forms: Nasal spray, pills taken by mouth, skin gel, skin patches, creams and I will not mention the rest, due to the fact, I would like to retain some sort of dignity throughout this essay. Progesterone or progestin can be taken orally, through a skin patch or cream. If a woman is still ‘intact’, that is to say, she has her uterus still in place, then she would need to subject herself to both estrogen and progesterone, in order, to help reduce the risk of endometrial (uterine) cancer.

There is another alternative and that is to use holistic herbs, which the medical community perceives as not a viable scientific approach. This method does take longer and requires a physician to do a saliva test to check the individual’s hormonal balance. The herbs and creams are then mixed according to the results of the saliva test. The upside of going this route is there are no health risks or negative side effects.

Wow! Now, I have the decision to make, do I want to continue to fight the fat, bald, green monster? Can I tolerate a little ‘muffin-top’? Or, do I want to risk facing the list that may come with hormone therapy? Do I attempt to use the lesser-esteemed approach and use herbs? The course of action I chose is to sit down with my husband and have a serious conversation about this decision. After all, he is the one who has to find a place in the attic to hide when the green monster manifests.



Bauman, A. J. (2015, November). 5 Things women should know about menopause and hair loss. In Huffpost Healthy Living. Retrieved November 15, 2015, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alan-j-bauman/hair-loss-during-menopause_b_3873608.html


Open Letter to Air Traffic Controller Wives

Open Letter to Air Traffic Controller Wives

My Dear Sisters in Aviation,

I am writing to help you in your journey living with an air traffic controller. You see, when you married your husband you may not have known it, but you joined the sorority called ‘controller wives’ and you will learn you will need each other because as you have probably already noted, an air traffic controller is a different breed of bird. I have lived with one for 25 years and have learned some things in the process. I thought I would share my lessons with you.

I have figured out if a person likes video games then he or she will excel in air traffic; after all, all one has to do is keep the dots on the scope separated – how hard is that? One must realize just a couple of things. Each of the dots travels at different rates of speeds and different altitudes, and God forbid if the controller sneezes! Oh, by the way, did I mention you must maintain at least 3 miles of separation between the dots or there are fierce alarms that go off in the control tower that tell on you – that’s called a “deal”. Then you go around the rest of the day in shame because you had a ‘deal’.

Back to the spots on the screen, when one works approach that is when it gets really interesting. The controller watches the dots and makes notes as to what type of airplane is where and lines them up according to their speed – hopefully. BUT, there are times this does not necessarily work. Once in a while, a ‘lid’ will slip into the line out of order. These lids are the controller’s demise; a lid is a small aircraft with an amateur pilot, which flies speeds of around 80 miles an hour. So now the controller has this lid in line with a “heavy” running up its stovepipes. A “heavy” is a jumbo jet that cruises around 600 miles per hour. At this point, the controller has a few choices, he can either send the lid around in circles for awhile until he can clear the airspace; or, he can slam dunk that thing onto the runway and tell him to tuck his feathers and get out of the way. The point is, the sooner he is off the scope, the better – depends on the mood of the controller.

There is another bane of the controllers; this one can happen at any time, depending on the day. There is a ‘zone’ the controller gets into when he puts on his headset for the day. He is either in the zone or he is not. The zone is when he hits his rhythm, lining up and shooting out airplanes, in timing and synchronicity; if he is in his zone – man oh man; your husband will come home with a smile. But, if he can’t quite hit the zone that day; nothing seems to go right, and the rhythm is not there, he can ‘go down the tubes’ working as few as three airplanes. That is when he comes home growling, and it is best for you and the kids to go shopping.

Now, Ladies, there is one thing that has caused many problems in our marriage; I want to share this with you as it took me many years not to want to hit my husband over the head with a frying pan. I have noticed most air traffic controllers are not eloquent communicators; in conversations with their spouses, they want their wives to, ‘get to the point’ in as few words as possible; they are not interested in details, no matter how important it is to you. They are problem solvers, and all they need are the facts, and they will solve it for you.

Now last but not least, this one affects the whole household – your husband’s work schedule. Sweetie, my heart goes out to you on this one, especially if he gets the ‘rattler’, that is the killer schedule; it consists of two swings, one morning, one very early morning followed that evening by a mid-shift. Now who in their right mind would think this schedule is anywhere near safe! Apparently this way of scheduling is consistent throughout the agency.

In closing my dear, I want you to remember you married a ‘kid at heart’, and when they all get together to let off steam, for they are under extreme pressure; their antics may appall you at times; just go with it. and allow the child within to come out. I remember a time that involved my husband and a buddy of his who also worked at the Tower. At the time, we lived on a ranch in the mountains and during certain seasons of the year, the tarantulas came out from underground, usually around Halloween. One of the controllers asked my husband to get him a spider so he could give it to his son as a pet; he forgot to ask his wife. Well, my husband soon spotted the perfect specimen, captured it and proudly delivered it to his buddy at the tower. His friend was stoked and excitedly called home to share his good fortune with his wife. His wife had other ideas! That spider was NOT coming home with him – no way and no how! My husband’s buddy returned to the tower cab after the phone call, forlorn. But that did not last long because one of the two men had the bright idea to turn the tarantula loose and play with it. All afternoon, the spider had a bird’s eye view as he cruised the console in the cab. Toward the end of the shift the guys had enough fun with him and decided to launch him off the catwalk of the tower. I know, you are thinking ‘poor spider,’ I did too until I heard what a tarantula could do – they can fly! That spider helicoptered all the way to the ground and landed on all eight! It wisely hid in the bush next to the sidewalk, which led to the entrance of the tower. A few hours later, the shift supervisor coming on duty saw the spider and excitedly picked it up and brought it back up to the cab. He proudly displayed his captured prize; only to find out, it was old news. So he played with him for a while, and he too sailed him from aloft – this time the spider made a run for it, never to be seen again.

So my dear sister, when your husband comes home, and you need to share something wonderfully important with him; and he tells you, ‘get to the point,’ think about ‘lids, deals and tubes.’ Cut him a little slack and know the man you married is under a lot of stress, and his sleep pattern is nonexistent. Look forward to the times when you can get away, and he can let his inner child out; after all, being a Controller is his way of providing and loving his family.

Your sister in aviation,

Carolyn Steidley

Identifying False Teachers

We are speaking on the book of Jude this morning. “How to Identify false teachers”. Live stream will start at 9:30 am this morning! To go to our live stream:Cowboychurchfresno.org then click the Media button then click on the Live Stream 


Gotcha Ya! NO, You Don’t!

Gotcha Ya! NO, You Don’t!

Have you ever been going along and suddenly something comes at you from out of the blue? This something seems to knock the wind out of you, but just for a moment as you gain your equilibrium. I had that happen today. I had to resist the urge to delve into the situation deeper, which would have only brought more pain.

Instead, I took a deep breath and said, “Oh no you don’t!” addressing that statement to the enemy who would love to steal my peace and joy. Throughout the years and numerous experiences similar to today’s, I have learned to “resist the enemy, and he will flee from you.” It seems the enemy attacks when you are tired, stressed or already down, this is one of his famous tricks, and if you are not careful in guarding your mind and heart, it will work!

The Bible states, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil 4:8, NIV).

Get Back, Satan! You’re in my Way!

Get Back, Satan! You’re in my Way!

I heard a story about a well-known Pastor, who had gone to bed one night. In the middle of the night, Satan appeared at the foot of his bed and pulled his bed away from the wall; thereby, waking the Pastor. The man looked up and saw Satan standing there and said, “Oh it’s you. Get out of here but before you do, push my bed back.” Satan did as he was told and the man went back to sleep.

What would you have done? Would you have enough confidence in the Lord and His name, that you too would have rolled over after telling Satan to get out? If you hesitated to answer an emphatic “yes,” then let me show you how to gain that strong confidence.

Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior, just by asking him to come into your life and be Lord of your life; asking Him to forgive you for your sins, washing you in His precious blood to be white as snow.
Study the Bible – Hey that’s the ‘playbook’! It contains all the rules of spiritual warfare and let me tell you – you need to know it! SATAN CHEATS! And if you don’t call him on it, he will get away with it!